We Were Never Broken: Perimenopause, Fatphobia, and the Quick-Fix Lies Many of Us Are Buying
Functional longevity, joyful movement, and sustained creative capacity during perimenopause and beyond.
Let me say this upfront: I’m not here to sell you your pre-baby body back. I’m not here to reverse your age, flatten your belly, or convince you that turning 50 is a medical emergency that requires detox teas and high-intensity bootcamps. I’m here to tell you that you were never broken in the first place.
I’m almost 50, and I’m still mountain biking, hiking, lifting weights, and moving joyfully in my body. I’m not chasing weight loss. I’m chasing functional longevity. I’m building a life I can carry into my 80s. My goals? To maintain the muscle mass, bone density, flexibility, and mobility that support my ability to do everyday things like sitting down on a toilet and standing up again with as little assistance as possible—recognizing that some people, regardless of fitness level, may always need assistance and that requiring assistance is not a failure or a problem.
That’s the real perimenopause flex.
The Menopause Industrial Complex
The perimenopause and menopause "wellness" industry loves to sell us panic. It loves to capitalize on the insecurities consumer capitalism planted in us when we were pre-teens. The logic goes like this: If you aren’t young, thin, tight, and firm, you are a problem. But guess what? The industry has a solution—a supplement, a workout plan, a cream, a cleanse, a quick-fix hack. Funny how the problem was created just to sell you the cure.
We are told that our changing bodies are wrong. That belly fat is public enemy number one. That sagging skin is a sign of failure. That aging is an emergency. The same system that taught us to fear fat and wrinkles is now making a fortune off women desperately trying to “fix” things that were never broken.
Systemic Fatphobia and Ageism: Capitalism's Favorite Weapons
This isn’t just about bad marketing. This is systemic. Fatphobia and ageism are two of capitalism’s most profitable tools. They keep us chasing smaller bodies and younger faces instead of chasing the freedom to live, move, and create with joy.
While we’re counting calories and scrutinizing laugh lines, the system is cashing in. It’s a sleight of hand. Look over here at your cellulite! Look over here at your belly! Meanwhile, accessible health care, affordable housing, and social safety nets are being quietly gutted.
The industry doesn’t make money if you’re satisfied. It makes money if you’re afraid.
What I Am Chasing
For me, what matters at 40, 50, 60, 70, and beyond is supporting my ability to move through the world with as much ease and joy as possible. I focus on protecting my bones so I’m less likely to experience serious injuries like a hip fracture later in life. I’m committed to building strength and flexibility that supports me in doing whatever I love—whether that’s dancing, running with my dog, exploring my city, painting for hours, or discovering new depths of sexual pleasure well into my 60s and beyond.
This is about functional longevity, joyful movement, and sustained creative capacity. It’s about building a life you can carry with you as you cross each decade, not building a life that constantly asks you to shrink.
I’m here for strong bones, steady joints, and the energy to pursue what brings me joy. I’m here for muscle mass that supports my independence. I’m here for habits that nourish my future self—whether she has a flat belly or not.
The Systemic Context They Won't Tell You
Let’s be clear: the wellness industry doesn’t care about structural barriers. It doesn’t talk about how transportation access, food apartheid, poverty, and systemic racism directly shape our midlife and aging experiences. It also doesn’t center the experiences of disabled people or gender-expansive people navigating perimenopause, who often face compounded barriers and are systematically excluded from these conversations.
You can’t out-supplement poor infrastructure. You can’t out-yoga food deserts.
I’m able to live the way I do because I have the financial access and transportation access I need to buy the foods and herbs that support me. Not every person does. We can’t talk about perimenopause solutions without talking about who gets to access them and who gets left out.
Also, I write this from my perspective as an able-bodied, cisgender woman. I recognize that this grants me systemic access that disabled and gender-expansive people may not have when navigating perimenopause.
An Alternative Path
Here’s a path I’m walking:
- I’ve exercised consistently for over 25 years, focusing on strength, flexibility, and joy.
- I’ve been vegan for two decades, focusing on whole, plant-based, fiber-rich foods.
- I’ve never smoked, I drink alcohol 3 or 4 times a year, and I hydrate with water and herbal infusions.
- I prioritize movement that I love, not punishment for what I ate.
- I build habits that support my future self, not my high school reunion photos.
Do I know for sure this guarantees perfect health? Of course not. But I know I’m stacking the deck in my favor, and I know I’m doing it in a way that centers joy, sustainability, and liberation—not shame.
Final Thoughts
Perimenopause isn’t a problem to fix. It’s a phase to navigate with curiosity and care. You don’t need to be sold a younger body. You need to build a life you can carry—one where your joints, bones, muscles, heart, and mind feel supported by the way you eat, move, and rest.
Your goals don’t have to be about keeping up with kids or future grandkids (many middle-age perimenopausal people are child-free, so their goals aren't tied up in becoming an involved future grandparent). They can be about climbing mountains, dancing in your kitchen, rediscovering your libido, swimming laps, painting canvases, or simply living in a body that feels good to you—on your terms.
And if the industry tells you otherwise? Let it keep talking. You’ve got better things to do—like living.
Are you or a loved one looking for wellness support that includes hormonal health?
Dragon Fire Wellness is now accepting 1-on-1 and group perimenopause coaching clients.